As of an hour ago I should have been doing the following:
1. I should have worked out.
2. I should have finished up all the Mother's Day Gifts.
3. I should have cleaned off an area in our kitchen where I like to "stack" things - like papers - even though I have two desks (that was bold of me to put on this list)
4. I should have emptied the dishwasher - the true bain of my existence - although I'm truly thankful for our dishwasher.
5. I should have called back a neighbor, but I just...can't...do it. Nothing...left.
Don't we have those moments out of each and every day? Nothing left? I hate to admit it, but I do. And yet, we always bounce back...when at 3 in the morning, your little one down the hall has a bad dream, or your mother living with you is calling for help...or your husband who's very sick...calls for you in the middle of the night and needs you (I just tell him to call his mom). Our loved ones need us - again and again, even though we think/thought we had nothing left. And yet, somehow, we really do always have something in there...something left to give when we just wish we could sleep in a hotel room all by ourselves (except for those people that always leave you food and wine at the door) for the next two weeks straight.
It may be possible that I'm going through some-what of a mid-life crisis. Signing up for a crazy, challenging race, cutting off all my hair, trying to figure out what I'm going to do next with my life. I never realized how challenging it can be, as a Mother, to find what place you fit into in this world. All through my 20's, my mantra was, "I'm never having kids, I'm never having kids, I'm never having kids." And then in my 30s, I prayed for my little girls everyday and am so blessed to have them now. Even though we may eventually all need separate living quarters just to survive? I know it will all be worth it in the end when they have children just like themselves for the payback. :)
Tonight at our local market, I was with the girls and we needed a few things for our BBQ tomorrow. I wanted to pick out my own dessert for Mother's Day (even though I should NOT be eating any of it with this race I'm training for) and the girls were having a fit in the bakery section - each naming the 20 cookie selections they were about to throw in the cart. I had remained as calm as I could, for as long as I could and then...like a volcano...the words exploded out of me..."TOMORROW IS MOM'S DAY!!! EVERYDAY IS KIDS' DAY!! I'M PICKING THE TREAT!!!
They both stood there and just said, "OK, mom." And finally shut their mouths. The lady over in the bacon section looked up...we shared an unspoken "I got your back, Momma," and we went on our way.
And that, Mother's of the World...is how tomorrow ought to be. :) Hope you get whatever treat your beautiful heart desires. xo
(I do really want to say thank you to my wonderful girls and husband...for making this Mother's Day weekend beyond spectacular...and for loving me so much. I thank God for you each and every day.)
